The Power of Compassion

In our millennial world, there’s an ideological 'trend' that we should not need anyone else but ourselves; we should be self-dependent for all our emotional needs and if we aren't then we're failing. In this mindset, we are not being truly honest with ourselves or the world around us. Whilst how we relate to ourselves is the foundation to how we relate to what's outside of us, often when we feel unease and cannot quite pinpoint why, we are not actually listening to ourselves. Instead we try to self-impose what we want to need, rather than what we actually do.

We are physically wired to need social networks; our societies are built on hubs of people and, to be dramatic, the entirety of the human race kinda depends on it. We are not individuals all living parallel lives, even though we can feel that way at times. No matter how lonely we may feel, there is comfort to know that we are all part of something wider. We are cogs and our actions have an impact on others. Research shows that good social relationships are literally more effective at reducing hypertension and inflammation than medication, and more effective at extending life than any other factor (including alcohol intake, smoking, diet and exercise). Even in the stone ages, people were not self-sufficient as individuals. People need people. It is embedded all around us and, if you really think about it, blindingly obvious. Trying to convince ourselves otherwise just disconnects us with our very own make up. It's how we are self-aware, respond, process and hold accountability which makes the difference, which I’m sure you’ll agree is a whole other remit.

I would define compassion as magic, but it’s actually better than that; it’s real. And it exists everywhere around us. In more objective terms, compassion is the desire to alleviate another's 'distress'. It goes further than empathy, its precursor, in that it involves action. Despite many definitions of compassion including terms such as 'distress' and 'pity', I'd argue compassion is far ahead. It's holding space for a constant acknowledgement that life can be fucking tough, that life can be fucking tough for all of us, and that any act of unity gives a comforting reminder that we are all in this together. Compassion is the ability to show a universal understanding of what it is to be human. We are all trying to navigate this strange, unpredictable life.

As a shining example, ‘The Compassionate Frome Project’ was an experiment in a small town in Somerset, England, which explored the impact of creating more accessible and supportive community networks. Between 2013 and 2017, the project led to a reduction in the rate of emergency hospital admissions by 17%, when the rest of the county had an increase of 29%. Thankfully, an overview of the study and an extended discussion around compassion has been written into a book - ‘The Compassion Project: A case for hope & human kindness from the town that beat loneliness’ by Dr Julian Abel & Lindsay Clarke. Reading this book was simply a pleasure, and though it reiterated a lot of what we already know about humanity, seeing it written down with evidence served as a heartwarming and empowering reminder that we are all so much more capable of positive change than we ever give ourselves credit for, just by being here in our day-day actions. As someone with a science brain, I found the discussion around the biochemistry of compassion particularly interesting. With what feels like never ending chaos happening across the planet, this book put my feet on the ground and screamed about what is good, where the 'bad' stuff can often scream louder. Sitting on a crowded train, I felt in my own bubble of hope.

Let’s not paint rainbows, compassion is uncomfortable. To be compassionate, we have to be open to acknowledging that there is suffering and pain, whether it’s a subtle ripple or an all-consuming tsunami. We have to accept that everyone is fighting something. It makes us fight ourselves. We have to not only face, but continuously challenge our ego, world view and norms. In this way, it takes more courage to be compassionate than it does to be anything else.

With this knowledge, it's impossible to understand why compassion is so fundamentally overlooked. Just 8 men own the same wealth as half of the world. Read that again. If that doesn't show how our current being is fuelled by competition rather than compassion, I don't know what does. If we changed our drive to be compassionate rather than to compete, our universe would surely be transformed, the natural world included. But our innate need to compete to survive and our ego driven need to compete to compare is so far rooted, that the scale of shift that it would entail can become completely overwhelming.

But there's no reason to be disheartened. If you're wondering where to start, don't worry, you started long ago. From one of my many highlighted paragraphs from 'The Compassion Project', here's what we're all already doing, just by being here:

Too often, we feel we are not doing 'enough'. We are constantly comparing our achievements to our peers and whether we like it or not, measuring our success in materialist or 'tangible' gains. Let this be a reminder that we are all doing so much more than we think and as individuals, we hold vital value to others. This is of fact, no matter what intrusive thoughts or myths may try to tell us otherwise. No one is ever too small to make a difference and no act is ever too small to elicit positive change.

Thank you for reading. I will call this Part 1, as there is so much yet to say; self-compassion, compassion and climate change, compassion fatigue.

Lots of love,

All Things Considered (Emily) x